I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it glows. i had to have it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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