I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
