He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
