I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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