Plan B is the new Plan A
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
