Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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