he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
