He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
