how can u be prego again
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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