Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
