I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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