As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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