He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
