I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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