I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
