this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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