my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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