just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
