I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
