please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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