fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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