i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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