I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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