we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
