you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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