A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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