i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize