Duck Duck Cougar?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
