I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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