Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I pour the whiskey from now on
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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