What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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