Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
