Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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