You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
