i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
