Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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