therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
