Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
