ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize