so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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