Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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