glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
