Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
