Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
