Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
