Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
