dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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