yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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