it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
