Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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