omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
